I am not a fan of the new Umihara games. That much is clear. Does this make me hard to please? Not really. The original 3 games are not perfect by any means. They're wonky and the difficulty and quality of fields is uneven, yet they occupied me for years due to how gamey they are and how there was always something new to discover in them. What has thus far concluded the series is a linear, restrictive, easy game with no replay value where having enough food will prepare you for anything.
My standards aren't high, they're just different. For a time, they were pretty low actually. Going away from Umihara Kawase games, here are some games/series I liked: Cosmic Race, Sonic the Fighters, Mr. Driller, Simple 2000, WarioWare Mega Microgames, Sukeban Schachou Rena, Little Deviants. By no means the most well-received games/serieses. What I like about them is that they're "gamey" at least. They don't have a cinematic story and they don't require that great a level in investment. Plus they're regularly cute and charming. These are by no means games that are glowingly received in reviews in any way, at least compared to modern games such as Breath of the Wild, Mario Odyssey, Uncharted, God of War, and The Last of Us.
Sonic the Fighters is regularly said to be a bad Sonic game by retro standards by most fans. Too simple and button-mashing. It's my favorite Sonic game, bet you won't find anyone else saying that. Simple 2000 games are silly, fanservicey shovelware games with laughable polish and production values. Little Deviants is the failed Vita starting as it means to go on. Sukeban Schachou Rena is a laughably unpopular Wii title that only sold 100 (!) copies in its opening week and became known as meme material more than anything. It also includes the Third Quiz, the worst minigame in existence, worse than any control stick spinning or button mashing minigame. (and I've beaten it. Twice.) Even decently well-received ones like Mr. Driller and WarioWare never get the same level of renown as a Zelda or (3D) Mario. More on that later.
And then there's Cosmic Race. A wretched game by any stretch of the imagination. One of the most notorious games on any Playstation console. One of the first "asset flip" games and it shows. A "So bad it's horrible" game through and through. A game where you'll turn it on, go down to the ground with the X button expecting it to accelerate, run out of time, and turn the game off LOL! Except it's not all that bad. Control wise, once you figure them out, you adapt very quickly. The worst thing you can say about Cosmic Race is that it's boring and doesn't have much replay value. It works though and there's no tutorial. It's a GAME at least. I'd certainly much rather play it than walk and listen to characters babble.
Not only are these games I mentioned not all that bad, I would rather play them than modern "masterpieces" like Mario Odyssey. I DESPISE that game. The bulk of the content is tedious fetch quests and inane minigames that have nothing to do with platforming or adventure. And those are the more involved content of the game most of the time. Elsewhere you're just tripping over moons that you don't even have to try to search for. That's the kind of epic quest to rescue the princess isn't it? wandering around, pacing in circles, kicking rocks, doing little footraces, jumping rope, driving an RC car, and sitting on a bench with someone! I am the legitimizer of 100%ing WarioWare, where you have to do each microgame separately for hours- after unlocking them- and even I find Odyssey to be tedious. How does this game get glowing praise from so many people, especially reviewers who play many different games and don't just get 3 or 4 a year?
Maybe I just don't see eye to eye with most people when it comes to gaming. I just like seeing well-liked games get taken down a peg and like seeing an astute gamer find something to like about maligned ones.
